“Persons’ lives are made up of countless experiences that they organize in ways that help them make sense of their existence. These events are stories, or narratives that are assigned relative meanings, and make up the “landscape of the person’s life” (Abels & Abels, p. 5, 2001). Did you understand this quote? WE assign meanings to our experiences. WE label our experiences which provides us meanings and gives us a landscape or lens to see through for the future. We write our own stories. But be careful, sometimes, people may say things to hurt or distort our understanding of our stories. We may do that to ourselves, too, from a negative mindset. And, on the other hand, people may say things that help us understand and be the hero of our stories with compassion for our well-being and the ones we love. I love these good friends and good licensed clinical social workers.
What is my landscape? What are the stories that I tell of myself and the influential situations? So many thoughts come to mind. People think and develop in the context of a narrative. Am I growing and developing in the landscape of Minecraft with those zombies chasing me? Who are the perceived zombies? Am I safe? Am I the hero or am I the perceived loser of a game? I want to break away from partial stories or negative interpretations and perceptions that I tell or see about myself and my situations. Other people may also mislabel my story for me. I am NOT a loser, or weak, or a problem.
One of my favorite theorists, Albert Bandura of social observational learning, stated that we, basically, have power over our thoughts and can effect change. One way to do that is through his major concept of self-efficacy which is like a “can do” attitude. He didn’t phrase it that way, but I like to. Here’s an example of self-efficacy: Kid Gives Speech After Learning To Ride A Bike (Original) (youtube.com)
You CAN do this. You Can rewrite your own story. And, it’s very important that if you are working with a therapist that they allow you the agency to write your story and that they do not take on the expert role or rescuer role. This is YOUR story and you are the hero and anyone that tries to tell you what it should be or is or begin to interpret it for you are not benefitting your agency or empowerment. They may create dependency on them. “The advantages of this approach according to Michael White, one of the initial pathfinders of narrative therapy, is that it “. . . opens up new possibilities for persons to retrieve their lives and relationships from the problem and its influence” (Abels & Abels, p. 10, 2001). Have uplifting and connecting stories and change the way you see problems or your situation and yourself. I am a winner. I am not a mistake. I am strong and deserve good things. I am a child of God, so I’m royalty, right. God knew me before I was born, He knitted me in my mother’s womb, He has a good plan for me, He calls me fearfully and wonderfully made, He knows the numbers of hairs on my head for goodness’ sake. He gave up His son for me. So, how should I see myself and write my story? Definitely as valuable.
Quotes from Abels, P. and Abels, S. (2001). Understanding narrative therapy: A guidebook for the social worker.
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