Oftentimes, I can forgive but I can’t forget. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we could just wipe away some memories? An erase button. It would make life so much simpler. I’ve struggled to put the past in the past because some memories or reminders keep popping up. The memories refuse to be wiped or swept away. Then, hurt feelings and resentments arise or pop up unexpectedly. Closure is needed. Closure is a helpful process of letting go of the past. When you can “let it go” then it is possible to move forward and not be wounded by the past repeatedly.
For example, someone I love dearly was deeply betrayed when her personal information was stolen by a friend and shared among their group. The betrayal and ensuing circumstances were cruel, to say the least. Forgiveness did come from all parties, though their paths diverged eventually. As our area is small and social media shouts out loudly whatever you are doing, the former friend began sharing very risque posts of herself. As many of us attended the same church, it was hard to see the individual and family without feeling uncomfortable due to the past and present. As a concerned church member and mom, my heart would tug at me to say something to the other mother, however, “mind your own business” was a message that kept coming to me, as an open conversation might seem confrontational or judgmental. Then, the past would come back and haunt me relative to the pain that was caused to our family. I would be impressed by sermons and from reading the Bible to not say anything.
I realized that I did not have closure. Ultimately, I went through social media and deleted the connections with the group and their moms. I felt closure then. Some problems are not mine. I can pray and let it go. Today I received confirmation when I listened to a Master Class by Hope City and guest speaker Levi Luskos. They were talking about grieving. We grieve many things. Levi’s loss was great which made me realize that our situation was a small situation that would eventually fade. Regardless, grief is a process in any situation. I had always heard of the five stages of grieving (denial, anger, bargaining, depression or sadness, and acceptance). I learned from the Master Class of two more stages which rang true with me today: Healing and restoration.
Yes, we can forgive many things (and grieve the loss of friendships and family), however, we need time to heal whether it be from the past and/or reminders in the present. Restoration, as a definition, is returning something to a former condition. That’s tricky when closeness is lost. However, when I consider myself and my heart I realize that restoration (the “erase button”) means that God will heal my (our) heart and that He is close to us. He grieves with us and can transform us with His power to a place of stability and acceptance. Our worth is found in God, not in popularity or status or post. He is our righteousness. The past makes us stronger and gives us a testimony to share. We can support others who’ve been hurt or are hurting through the faithful love of God. He is good and for ALL of us. He brings us peace. Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; And the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance forever.
flourishings.blog 